time to breathe

I want to dangle strings of lights from the giant tree that gives shade to our apartment. Heavy branches cocooning our patio, giving the impression of entering some type of carefully tended and intimate open air tree house, something of a fairyland, perfect for sipping iced tea and sharing a plate of good eats, hidden away from the bustle of life.

Containers spilling full of lavender, and some tall grasses that will rustle in the breeze are what I want to plant. This weekend, perhaps. It has been cool this spring, and I’m late getting started. Time has this way of continually zipping by. I can hear a nest of new baby birds cheeping from somewhere close by.

I know it’s been quiet here. I didn’t intend to step away for this long, or at all, actually. Yet here we are, and it is June. There are some delicious things that I want to share with you. Strawberries might be involved. Soon they will be ripe. Soon.

I’ve been thinking about change, changes, changing. Inevitably there are (always?) things I’d like to change and recreate on this little site of mine. I know deep down what direction I’d like to take, but I would love to know what all of you, my friends and readers, are interested in seeing and reading in this space. More of something? Less? Something new? I look forward, very much, to reading your thoughts and ideas, please share them in the comments. I would love to continue to build our little community.

I suppose, in this break away, I’ve been thinking about what direction I’d like my life to go in. There are so many things I like to do, sometimes it all becomes a tangle. Each goal, dream, fleeting idea, big idea, getting trapped together into what I can only describe as one big rubber band ball of insanity that just gets tossed around and down, bouncing like crazy everywhere, sometimes resting, sometimes hurtling fast, ricocheting at top speed from every wall, corner, nook and cranny available. Everything was everywhere, nothing was happening. My mind was trapped in a crazy time of ridiculously intense, sound-barrier breaking speed of rubber ball travel insanity, and then, with nowhere to turn, it basically exploded, imploded, and just, well, stopped.

And I saw that crazy, wild, ball of chaos that I’d backed into the corner like it was a sweating, wild and scared animal. Ready to charge or bolt at any second. I really saw it. And instead of barreling down on it, adding one more passionate thought into an already charged creation, urging it to go! move! do something! think something! be better! be the best! be fucking amazing! NOW! I just stood still. Paralyzed. And I watched. And you know what? After just standing there, being, looking and not judging, not adding to it, just not thinking all the damn time, it took one giant, free, inhalation. And relaxed.

Oh to breathe deeply! Suddenly I was free! And with that freedom I calmly walked in, slowly, gently, and began to untangle the crazy elastic rainbow mess of thoughts and ideas. I swept many aside, put some in storage for later, and lay out to look at, like beautiful curated gems and works of art, the few I want to tackle now. They are goodies.

Thanks for your patience. See you again soon. xo.